When you’re feeling down and out, REAL friends be like
You know what I really like, though? That the guy in the blue outfit tugs at the other guy’s shirt in acknowledgement. That made all the difference to this moment.
If you’re ever having a bad day, just remember that my cousin was once so drunk that he came home and thought his sister’s bedroom was the bathroom and pissed all over her.
I’m just gonna let the world figure this out
What does this mean???? Help????
Wait for it
There’s stupid people like me in this world who can’t figure this out
I wonder how many stranger’s stories we make it into? You know, maybe someone saw you in passing and told their friends about how pretty the girl in the lavender sweater was. Or maybe they overheard you say a joke and repeated it to their friend, confessing that they heard it from some guy at the store.
I think about this all the time
It’s 11:30 pm and I need raw cookie dough like I need air in my lungs.
I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna drive to Wal-Mart at midnight in my pajamas and buy a roll of cookie dough because I’m an adult with my own money who gets to make his own decisions.
I am so, so proud of you.
When kids ask me what its like to be an adult, I will show them this post. Thank you.
cool date idea:
1. come over to my place with your dog
2. leave your dog
3. go home
I just remembered how hilarious it was to watch this shit on national television.
What happened to the horses? Where did they go?