excuse me mom but whoever smelt it dealt it so it is in fact YOU who’s doing the weed
so when i was 7 or 8 i’d “write letters to hermione granger” and set them out on the piano in the living room every night with my stuffed toy owl and every morning i’d have a letter from hermione back, sitting at the foot of my bed, and hermione and i corresponded like that for months and i’d just like to thank my mom for writing out a “letter from hermione” for me every single night
That is the cutest thing I’ve ever read oh my god
Okay I’m not even a Star Trek fan but that’s beautiful.
Signs whether or not someone is lying to you. Very useful knowledge.
WHAT IS THIS COMPANY
they even have phones too
So my older brother was in a book store and picked up a book about the difficulties faced by same sex parents in society today when a woman came up and bitched him out for being “too young to be reading a book about THAT sort of people.” He saw that she was carrying the third Hunger Games Book so he stared her dead in the eyes and hissed “Prim dies.” and walked away and I have never been prouder to have him as my sibling.
there was a big explosion sound outside and i pulled aside my curtain to see what it was but as i did so, so did the woman across the street and we both sort of waved at each other and it was nice even though something may have exploded
i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.
And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it.
are you satan
i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers
so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off